Praise Vs. Encouragement

March 18, 2022

Supporting Independence with Encouragement

By: Marcia Kidd

“The essence of independence is to be able to do something for one’s self. Adults work to finish a task, but the child works in order to grow, and is working to create the adult, the person that is to be. Such experience is not just play… it is work he must do in order to grow up.”
Dr. Maria Montessori

At all levels, Montessori education stresses the importance of independence. Recognizing that authentic self-esteem comes from our ability to do something successfully and independently, MSL teachers are committed to developing capable and confident students – “can-do kids,” preparing one step at a time to take their place in the world. Montessori teachers nurture independence in several ways.

First, the teacher sets the student up for success. Having observed your child’s readiness and interest level for a specific lesson, the teacher gives the training (lesson) that is necessary for success – in other words, a well-thought-out and precise lesson presentation. Her words and movements are precise, the layout and order of lesson steps are logical, and the materials used are complete and appropriate to the needs of the lesson and the size of the child.

Secondly, as your child works to master the lessons presented, the teacher refrains from helping and encourages your child to work independently as much as possible. In all aspects of school life (academic, social, practical life, personal care, problem-solving), teachers support as needed, but are also careful to heed Montessori’s words:

“Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.”


Finally, Montessori philosophy also supports independence by the manner in which feedback is given to students. At MSL, you may have noticed the absence of smiley faces, gold stars, high fives, and “good jobs.”


The choice to provide feedback in the form of ENCOURAGEMENT rather than PRAISE is another important way in which teachers intentionally support the growth of intrinsic motivation, independence and healthy self-esteem.


While the intention of praise is to encourage our children, research has shown that praise can actually negatively impact motivation and learning. In a study conducted by Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, children as young as 14 months were observed to have already begun forming opinions about themselves based on praise given by parents and caregivers. Even as toddlers, these children had begun to avoid activities they perceived to be challenging (Bright Horizons). “Praise teaches dependency on external feedback (I’m ‘okay’ if you like what I do, and I feel badly if you don’t like what I do), while encouragement teaches internal validation (I use self-evaluation to determine how I feel about what I do)” (Nelsen).


Our job as parents and educators is to support the development of the whole child. How we provide feedback to children’s efforts can impact their long-term self-esteem and openness to learning new skills. Encouraging independence communicates faith in our children’s abilities.


Resources:


Alternatives to praise
that offer encouragement:

  • You did it.
  • Last week, riding your bicycle was challenging, but you kept trying and today you did it!
  • You worked really hard on that!
  • Can you show me how you did that?
  • You thought about it and came up with a brand new idea.
  • You figured it out!
  • How does it feel to finish your project?
  • What do you think about your work?


Consider the effects of praise versus encouragement:

PRAISE

  • Connotes judgment; can be used to manipulate behavior
  • Promotes comparison and competition among students
  • Focuses on quality of performance and assigns judgment
  • Can create anxiety, fear of failure, giving up
  • Fosters dependency on external feedback


ENCOURAGEMENT

  • Fosters internal motivation, self-knowledge, independence, growth
  • Promotes cooperation and contribution for the good of all
  • Focuses on effort and progress
  • Helps children become comfortable with failure, fosters determination
  • Promotes self-evaluation


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August 31 marked the birthday of Dr. Maria Montessori. Thus, we want to take time to honor the roots of this movement, the visionary contributions of Dr. Montessori herself, and our shared responsibility to carry her legacy forward. At the heart of Montessori education is a deep respect for human potential. Unlike traditional models that begin with the adult's idea of what a child should learn, the Montessori approach emerged from deep observation and genuine curiosity. Dr. Montessori did not set out to create a new educational system. Rather, she observed children with scientific curiosity and developed an approach in response to their needs. It’s important to remember that Dr. Montessori was first and foremost a scientist. She was one of the first female physicians in Italy, graduating in 1896 with a specialization in pediatrics and psychiatry. In her medical practice, she encountered children who were often seen as uneducable. However, rather than accept this assumption, Dr. Montessori looked closer. A Discovery That Changed Everything In 1900, Dr. Montessori was appointed director of a university program for children with developmental delays. Observing their sensory-seeking behaviors in bleak institutional settings, she began studying how sensory experiences affect cognitive development. She designed hands-on materials and engaged the children in purposeful activity. The results were stunning: children who had been dismissed by society not only improved, but some went on to pass the same standardized exams given to their peers in traditional schools. Dr. Montessori’s response was not one of self-congratulation. Instead, she challenged the broader education system, asking: If children with significant delays could thrive when given the right environment and tools, why weren’t typically developing children doing better in school? This question launched a lifetime of work dedicated to understanding and supporting the natural development of all children. The Birth of the Montessori Method In 1907, Dr. Montessori opened her first classroom, the Casa dei Bambini, in the working-class neighborhood of San Lorenzo in Rome. Tasked with overseeing daycare for children too young for public school, she began by introducing simple, practical activities, starting with self-care and environmental care. She also provided an array of materials designed to engage children’s hands and minds. The transformation was extraordinary. Children who had previously been described as wild and unruly became calm, focused, and joyful. They took pride in their appearance and their surroundings. They concentrated for long stretches of time, developed social awareness, and, unprompted, began asking to learn how to read and write. Dr. Montessori was fascinated by what she called “spontaneous discipline” and the deep love of work she observed in the children. Through observation and experimentation, she continued to refine the materials, the environment, and the adult's role. Education Rooted in Development What emerged was a revolutionary approach: an educational philosophy based on the science of human development. Rather than seeing the adult as the source of knowledge and the child as an empty vessel, Dr. Montessori recognized that children come into the world with innate potential and a deep drive to learn. Montessori education supports this natural unfolding by honoring what Dr. Montessori called human tendencies, such as exploration, orientation, order, communication, work, and repetition, through carefully prepared environments that meet the specific needs of each developmental stage. The adult's role is not to instruct, but to guide, observe, prepare, and support. This vision of human development extends beyond the individual to a larger understanding of humans as part of a cosmic web of interrelationships. In this interconnected world, every part plays a role in maintaining balance and harmony. Humans have a unique place in this system, and our role requires conscious awareness, humility, and stewardship. In addition to fostering rich academic growth, Montessori education cultivates mature, adaptive, and compassionate individuals who are capable of making meaningful contributions to our interconnected world. The Enduring Impact of Montessori’s Vision Dr. Montessori eventually left her medical practice and professorship to fully devote her life to this work. She lectured around the world, trained teachers, wrote extensively, and advocated for children’s rights. She also always insisted that the focus remain on the children, not on her. Through decades of scientific observation, experimentation, and cross-cultural study, Dr. Montessori discovered that children, when provided with the right conditions at the right time, flourish. Her insights have stood the test of time. Today, there are approximately 15,000 Montessori schools worldwide, with over 3,000 located in the United States alone. For over a century, Montessori education has empowered children to reach their full potential—academically, socially, and emotionally. Yet Montessori is not just about individual success. It’s about building a better society. We know that children are not just preparing for the future. They are the future. By focusing on children’s holistic development, we are supporting a generation of individuals who are more connected to themselves, to one another, and to the planet. Carrying the Legacy Forward Dr. Montessori’s vision asks us to do more than remember her birthday. We need to believe in children, observe them closely, and prepare environments that honor their needs. This also means that we, as adults, approach our role with humility and a sense of curiosity. Our job is to accompany children as they create the future. In this way, Montessori education becomes not just a method, but a movement, one rooted in peace, interdependence, and the full development of the human being. Thank you for being part of this vision. Together, here in Louisville, Kentucky, we are carrying the Montessori legacy forward, not only by what we teach, but by how we believe in the children before us. Come visit to learn more!
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